Today in Tweet Beat, Suze Ormanis psyched for the Monster Ball tour, Lindsay Lohanloves gangsta rap, and Kelsey Grammeris trying to figure out this thing called Twitter.

  [Barbados, December 22. Image via Splash.]

  A villager from rural China has been sentenced to 12 years behind bars after he killed and atewhat was believed to be the last wild Indochinese tigerin the country. Fewer than 1,000 Indochinese tigers remain. [Telegraph]

  Jennifer Hudsonmay be pregnant again, only four months after her son was born. "Jennifer was in total shock when she found out she was having another baby," says a "friend," who claims she found out on December 10.The source says she didn't want her children to be so close in age, but "She and David love kids... It's another thing for them to celebrate during the holidays." [Star]The 333-page file the FBI kept on Michael Jacksonwas made public today following a Freedom of Information Act request from several media outlets. The files cover seven different investigations including a 1997 child pornography probe in which no charges were filed and a 1992 extortion plot against Jackson. There was no new information about his death. [LAT]The bulk of the file is about the investigation of Frank Paul Jones, who made death threats against Michael Jackson, George H.W. Bush, and John Gottifrom 1992-1993. Jones wrote in a note, "I will personally attempt to kill [Michael Jackson] if he doesn't pay me my money," and said he would "commit mass murder" at a Jackson concert if necessary to kill him. According to news clippings in the file, Jones was obsessed with Janet Jacksonand was arrested trying to break into the White House and at Jackson's parents' home. He plead guilty in 1993 and was sent to prison. [N.Y.T., Reuters]In 1995 a U.S. Customs agent asked the FBI to analyze a VHS tape connected to Michael Jacksonto see if it contained child pornography. They found the tape called Michael Jackson's Neverland Favorites — An All Boy Anthologywas a "poor quality third or fourth generation recording," but the documents don't say what was on the tape. [AFP]In 1993 the LAPD contacted the FBI and suggested the agency look into a "possible federal violation against Michael Jacksonconcerning transportation of a minor across state lines for immoral purposes [Mann Act]," but the FBI declined. The agency provided a driver and a stenographer for California investigators who travelled to the Philippines to interview the couple who had managed the Neverland Ranch about child molestation allegations. [CNN]Brittany Murphyleft her estate to her mother Sharon Murphy. She wrote the will before she met her husband Simon Monjack, and it's unclear if she ever updated the document. [TMZ]Right after his Thanksgiving car crash 60 percent of people polled still had a favorable view of Tiger Woods, but a new survey shows his approval rating has dropped 34 percent. [CNN]Jamie Jungers' aunt Susan Minor says that Jamie bragged to family members about pictures she took of Tiger Woodswhile he was passed out drunk. "She told us she took the naked pictures. It is the truth and I have several witnesses. Jamie said it in front of my son, daughter, and my husband." Jamie's mother denies that this happened, and that her daughter has pictures of Tiger Woods. [Radar Online]During a radio interview today Jamie Jungerswas questioned about the pictures. "My aunt? I don't believe she said that," Jungers said, adding that her aunt's "kinda crazy." The hosts suggested that that Woods had payed her off, but she said, "You know what, I haven't made a penny from all of this (bleep) and the only reason I'm involved with this is because of an ex fiancé." [Radar Online]John Lennon's star on the Hollywood walk of Fame is missing. The asphalt has just an "empty outline of a star" that has been covered up with a plastic bag and tape. [Contact Music]Richard and Mayumi Heenehave been sent a $42,000 bill from the DA for the cost of having the police, national guard, and FAA investigate their balloon hoax. Their lawyer says they won't pay until they see receipts and records. [TMZ]Beyonce's parents Tina and Matthew Knowlesissued this joint statement today confirming their divorce: "The decision to end our marriage is an amicable one. We remain friends, parents, and business partners. If anyone is expecting an ugly messy fight, they will be sadly disappointed. We ask for your respect of our privacy as we handle this matter." [Contact Music]Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and the Black Eyed Peasare among the stars who will perform at the Grammy Awards on January 31. [People]Check out Jay-Z's new video for "Young Forever," which is described as "a longer version of that Levi's commercial that employs Walt Whitman's 'Pioneers! O Pioneers!" poem. [Rolling Stone]Is Rachel McAdamsdating Jude Law's personal assistant? [Contact Music]BREAKING: Jessica Simpsonwent out with less makeup on than usual. [Daily Mail]Prince Williamspent a night sleeping on the streets of London last week to raise awareness for the homelessness charity Centrepoint. The group's CEO said, "We took as much precaution as possible – finding a relatively secluded spot in an alleyway, shielded partly by a collection of wheelie bins. But there was no shielding from the bitter cold, or the hard concrete floor, or the fear of being accosted by drug dealers, pimps or those out to give homeless people a 'good kicking.'" [Guardian]Eminem's Christmas gift to fans: A picture of himself in a Santa Claus suit. Fans can insert their face into the picture to make it look like they're sitting on "Shady Claus'" lap. [UPI]Looks like somebody really wants to make their split permanent. On the same day that Dean Sheremetfiled for divorce from LeAnn Rimes, they agreed to a confidential divorce settlement. [People]Kevin Jonaswas caught kissing his new wife Danielle Deleasaon their honeymoon in Mexico. Scandalous! [Popsugar]John Woowill be given a lifetime achievement award at the Venice Film Festival. [The Mirror]TMZ is being sued for $20 million by former Hollywood executive Ronald Grigg. He says the site failed to get his side of the story when a story was posted last year about a lawsuit in which Grigg was accused of fraud, theft, and date rape. [Reuters]Police say Pete Dohertyhas been charged with possession of heroin. He was arrested yesterday minutes after pleading guilty to drunk driving in court. [AFP]Jesse McCartneywants to write songs for Adam Lambert. [ONTD]T.I.was released from prison today after serving seven months for sending his bodyguard to buy machine guns and silencers. He'll do the last three months of his sentence in a halfway house. [TMZ]There's a bench warrant out for Lynne Curtinof The Real Housewives of Orange County. She and her husband were supposed to appear in court yesterday to answer questions about a $1.2 million judgement they were ordered to pay to a former business partner, but they didn't show. [TMZ]Creed frontman Scott Stappand his wife Jaclyn are expecting a second child. [Us]Ugh. Here's a picture of Kate Gosselinwearing a Carol Brady wig: [People]If you'd like to speculate about Avatar's Oscar chances, read on: [Reuters]In the first ad for the Golden Globes, Ricky Gervaissays of NBC asking him to host, "What were they thinking?" [The Wrap]Martin Sheenwill star as the father in the play The Subject Was Roses46 years after receiving a Tony nomination for his role as the son. [Variety]Carrie Underwoodshowed off her five-plus carat engagement ring at an Ottawa Senators game last night. [People]Lady Gagawill appear on the Bravo show Launch My Lineon January 6. [People]Be advised: PETA supporter Bethenny Frankeldoesn't wear fur. Her rep contacted us to say that an item reported by Gatecrasher about she and her fiance wearing leather wasn't true.Bret Michaelspraised Miley Cyrus' cover of "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" saying, "She's one of the few musicians - and I want to use that word cause she can actually play and sing - she's one of the few people who can pull it off and give it her own flare and make it sound good." [MTV]Paris Hiltonsays she'll never appear on I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!"They've asked me to do that show so many times. I wouldn't want to do that, I couldn't eat bugs and do all those crazy challenges. I might do it for fun, on a camping trip with friends but not on national TV," says Paris. [Contact Music]Paris Hiltonsays her sister Nicky Hiltonwon't stay in her home since it was burglarized earlier this month. Paris says, "She's still so scared and won't sleep in her house at the moment, she's staying with my mom. It's creepy knowing these thieves have been in your place and I know exactly what she's going through. I'm giving her all the support she needs." [Contact Music]"Most dancers, actors and singers get treated like filth at auditions," says Daniel Day-Lewis. "You never forget that do you? I mean every now and then I bump into some of the directors that treated me that way when I was a kid and they're all over me like a rash and you can't forget it because you're so vulnerable." [Daily Express]Ozzy Osbournesays, "I hate Christmas, I hate it. Everything stops. When I used to drink it it was a good excuse to get drunk for two weeks. Now I just hate it. I have to unravel all these presents. What a waste of paper! ... I was in a coma for awhile, so I missed Christmas, thank god. If I want to miss Christmas I'll get on my quad bike and break my neck again." [Perez Hilton]Lily Allensays she's going to stop drinking on stage: "When I started out, I'd drink four cans of cider on stage because I needed the confidence not to be judged. But getting off my head (drunk) got me into trouble - I didn't understand why I couldn't be like (Oasis frontman) Liam Gallagherjust because I was a girl. Now I'm happy being more of a lady." [Contact Music]

  Cleveland women are investing in weapons disguised as lipstickand combs after a local man "was indicted for luring 14 homeless, drug-addled women into his house of horrors and then allegedly sexually attacking them and strangling 11 of them." [ABC]

  [Washington, DC; December 22. Image via Getty.]WASHINGTON - DECEMBER 22: First lady Michelle Obamaand her daughters Sasha (C) and Malia read Christmas stories to children at the Children's National Medical Center on December 22, 2009 in Washington, DC. The first lady toured the hospital visiting the Heart and Kidney Unit before greeting 200 patients and hospital staff. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

  New research shows that belief in Santacan actually rise with age, and that three-year-olds believe in St. Nick just slightly less than they believe in the garbage man. But does kids' "magical thinking" have a larger purpose?According to Shirley Wang of the Wall Street Journal, scientists measured Santa-faithnot only against belief in the garbage man (no word on whether any kids thought he was stealing their garbage), but also against a made-up entity named the Candy Witchwho they claimed arrived on Halloween and exchanged candy for toys. 70% of three-year-olds believed in Santa, while 78% believed in the — apparently only marginally more convincing — garbage collector. Among five-year-olds, the percentage of Santa adherents was actually higher, at 83%. And scientists were able to con almost two thirds of preschoolers into believing in the Candy Witch, with five-year-olds again more credulous than younger kids.The scientists caution that most of the kids in the study were Christian, possibly making them more vulnerable to the Santa mythos. But as the Candy Witch experiment illustrates, kids are pretty easy to fool, even without the benefit of 100-plus years of quasi-religious tradition. It's not really so surprising that children's "magical thinking" grows (temporarily) stronger with age, either. I don't remember being three all that clearly, but I do seem to recall a lot of confusion — if woolly mammoths came out of the tar pits, might they also come out of the asphalt on the playground? Did our vacation last two weeks or two years? Did strange dreams prove you were an alien? I was totally mystified by the universe — but by five or so, like many kids, I had become a tiny conservative. I had a theory about how the world worked — a theory that included not just Santa but also herbivorous monsters and the idea that everyone whose name started with the same letter was somehow related — and I planned on taking that theory to the grave. Except that because of my various schemes for immortality, I was never going to die.Of course, that all went to shit around age eight or so. This turns out to be about average — the researchers found that belief in Santa began to decline around age 7, and had dropped to a third by age 9. Meanwhile, nearly all nine-year-olds had accepted the reality of the garbage man. In a blog post on the same topic, Wang writesthat kids who discover Santa is fake "often seem to relish that they figured out the secret, rather than feel sad." This wasn't my experience. Even as the persuasive voices of other kids on the bus grew too loud to ignore, I clung to my belief in Santa, afraid of the drastic worldview reorganization that letting go would require. I went through what cartoonist Roz Chast calls the "Santa is, like, a spirit" period, and when I finally accepted that a supernaturaljolly being was not bringing me Barbie dolls, I remained pretty despondent for a while. In fact, this was the beginning of a time when I was no longer very excited about kid stuff, but there was no grown-up or even teenage stuff yet, and life looked kind of bleak.Wang says scientists think children's "magical thinking" and belief in fantasy characters may "have a key role in helping children take someone else's perspective," and this seems likely enough. But I also think that believing in things like Santa is just a step along the way to developing some sort of personal understanding of the workings of the universe, something everybody needs in order to get through the day. Religious people may have a slightly easier time with this, but they still have to evaluate which parts of their chosen tradition actually ring true to them. As an agnostic, I don't believe in Santa or God, but I do believe that it's dangerous to look directly at the microwave (I read this somewhere!), that putting toilet paper on the seat shields me from germs (obviously false; totally comforting), that eyelash wishes are so powerful I need to think hard before I make them, and that if I have bad thoughts about people they will start having bad thoughts about me. And I believe that all these beliefs — plus Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Candy Witch — are ways of making whatever sense we can out of the many things in life we'll never really understand.The Power Of Magical Thinking[Wall Street Journal]Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus: The Importance Of Magical Thinking[Wall Street Journal]

  [New York, December 22. Image via INFDaily.]

  The "You look smashing. But your chicken breasts could use a lift" adhas been taken down at Kraft headquarters. A spokeswoman said no one had directly complained, but noted that "a few employees may have expressed concerns online." [AdAge]

  â€¢ French experts believe Diane de Poitiers, mistress of 16th-century king, Henry II, was killed by her desire to stay youthful. Forensic experts found evidence of chronic gold intoxication - meaning she probably drank gold in attempts to stay pretty.Interestingly enough, this wasnot an uncommon practice at the French court. Many people believed that drinking gold would harness the powers of the sun, and transfer its powers to the drinker. Instead it just killed them. • The New York Timeslooks into the claim that your stomach can shrink or enlarge depending on your eating habits. They found that, yes, you canstretch your tummy by binging,information that will doubtless come in useful when I finally begin my career in competitive eating. • Rudy Guede, one of the three people convicted of murdering Meredith Kercher in 2007, has successfully appealed his sentencing. He will now serve only 16 years in prison, down from 30. Amanda Knox, Kercher's roommate, was given 26 years for the same crime, but her lawyer says he plans a similar appeal. • R.I.P. Mary Curtis-Verna,opera-star and professor of music at the University of Washington. Curtis-Verna made her name in the 1950s and 60s playing the roles of "ailing, stranded or otherwise indisposed divas." •  Pranksters in Florida hacked into several traffic signs on Monday night, programming them to read: "ZOMBIE ATTACK!! EVACUATE."Gina Busscher, spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Transportation, says: "We've not seen any zombies on University Avenue, so apparently it worked well." • Late Saturday night police in Boston received a 911 callfrom a distraught mom, pleading for someone to help with her 14-year-old son, who wouldn't stop playing video games.Two officers responded, and persuaded the boy to save his game and get some sleep. • For £300 (that's $480!), you can get the 90-minute facialthat may or may not be a favorite of famous people like Claudia Schiffer and Elle Macpherson. If the expense wasn't reason enough to avoid this beauty-treatment, the Daily Mailalso informs us that it's very painful. But maybe kind of effective. • Weaver Dorcille Uwimana on healing Rwanda through hand-crafted baskets and a smart business plan: "As the weavers and women of Rwanda, we have taught the country to move beyond hatred... We sat together and decided we needed to move on. We realized we cannot always be angry at each other. We have to weave. We have to make our lives better." • Germany has voted, and the most popular performer in a televised talent contest (their answer to America's Got Talent) is a Jack Russell terrier named Prima Donna.Prima Donna can chase her own tail, walk on her hind legs, and jump through a hoop. And apparently that's all it takes to win the hearts of German viewers. • Yesterday Hope Solo became the first goalkeeperto win the U.S. Soccer Federation's Female Athlete of the Year award. Solo allowed one goal in six international matches. • Professor Roger Wotton from the University College of London has used science to prove that angels can't fly.In a paper published in the school's Opticon magazine he argues that "even a cursory examination of the evidence in representational arts shows that angels and cherubs cannot take off and cannot use powered flight." He later adds: "For sure, fairies don't fly." • In what some have called a case of "textbook discrimination," the Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that they will not fight to overturnthe IOC's decision to exclude women's ski jumping from the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. We will now have to wait at least until the 2014 games in Sochi, Russia to watch women compete. • 

  Environmentalists Robert and Brenda Vale say a dog uses as much annual energy as a car, a goldfish uses as much as two cell phones, and cat poop poisons otters' brains. Solution: get a bunny, then eat it. [Yahoo News]

  [Los Angeles, December 21. Image via WENN.]

  The ad at left, along with a wealth of anecdotal evidence, has us wondering if holiday gift shopping — traditionally women's work, if Cathyis any guide — is especially burdensome for guys.Here's the ad's text, courtesy of Sociological Images,THE FABLE OF THE GENEROUS GENT AND THE LOATHSOME LIST.Once a generous sir, beset by a gift list of frightful aspect, vanquished the beast with one fell stroke of genuis in a quest triumphant at The Forum Shops.As SI's Lisa Wade points out, the ad "draws attention to what many of us feel, few of us say, and very, very few advertisers would emphasize: the gift giving mandate associated with Christmas (and, to a lesser degree, other U.S. holidays) can be an incredible emotional and financial burden, as well as a time suck." Its solution is to go to Vegas, which is kind of an awesome idea, if out of reach for most of us. And its target audience is definitely dudes.The "stress" of holiday shopping— again, cf. Cathy, and pretty much any publication aimed at moms — is usually portrayed as the province of women. But feeling clueless and/or put-upon by the necessity of gift-buying: totally a guy thing. Much as men's magazines make a sport of bemoaning Valentine's Day obligations, ads like this one make male gift-buying seem like an impossible task — unless of course you go to Caesar's Palace.Part of this almost certainly has to do with the fact that American women have a much stronger tradition of giving each other presents than men do. Junior high school boys don't usually buy pencil cases for all their buddies the day before winter break; twenty-something guys don't give their roommates chocolates to apologize for breaking their favorite mugs. For better or for worse, girls get initiated into gift-giving way earlier than boys, and by the time they grow up, they have much more practice. It also doesn't help that gifts remain so gendered — maybe if retailers weren't alwaystellingus that pink things are for girls and fun things are for boys, then shopping in general might be a lot easier (dinosaurs for everyone!).But a lot of the thrust of the Forum ad comes, as Wade says, from the fact that "expressing dissatisfaction regarding gift giving is more acceptable, in general, for men than women (despite the fact that women do the majority of holiday-related chores)." In fact, expressing dissatisfaction may even be expectedof men. Gift-giving is often figured as feminine (those pencil cases), and, as Wade wrotelast year (and Kate Harding quoted), "Femininity is just for chicks. When men do feminine things, they are debasing themselves." And so in order to counteract the lady-ness of gift-giving, men need to claim to suck at it, or claim their girlfriend makes them do it, or actually suck at it, like the guy who bought his wife anti-snoring nose strips.Of course, there's also real gift-ambivalence at work here. I'm of the opinion that if you really like someone, you have a good idea of what to get him/her, and you have enough money to purchase it, gift-giving can be really fun. If any of these three conditions are not met, however, it sucks. And while women are sort of encouraged to be all lovey-dovey and holiday-spirity, maybe we should all acknowledge a little more freely that the party who benefits most in many gift exchanges is the store where we bought those fucking nose strips in the first place.Gender, Gift Giving, And Advertising[Sociological Images]Boys Get Cool Stuff, Girls Get Pink Stuff[Broadsheet]Oh, Honey, You Shouldn't Have: When Well-Intentioned Gifts Go Bad[Wall Street Journal]

  [Aspen, December 22. Image via x17.]